Speak now, be heard: A blog about sexual assault, rape, and abuse.

You have a voice. You will always have a voice to speak out against the things that have hurt you. You have the strength to break the ties that bind you, that hold you against the wall and keep you from breaking free. You’re not alone in this, you’re never alone.

I felt the need to create this blog to help myself heal and to help others learn to cope but most of all speak out and be heard, to help encourage others in finding their way again after being hurt for so long. I feel every single victims pain, I understand your suffering, your struggle. I have been through it too and I understand. It took me years to come out and be open about my pain and at this point I’m not exactly right where I need to be yet but I’m hoping that my own words of encouragement to others, to you… will help me be able to speak up to the people I can’t quite speak to yet. I have told my story and I will continue to tell my story because it needs to be heard, I am a survivor of sexual assault and abuse and I am not alone.

You can get through this, you are strong. 

My story is of a little girl at a very young age who lost herself, lost everything she knew, a little girl who lost her childhood. I didn’t have what one would call a normal childhood, I wish I could say I did. I hid behind a smile as I disconnected myself from the world, I didn’t understand… I felt as though it was mutual, that although I cried every single time it happened, I thought it was my fault, that I wanted it too. I didn’t want to show any emotion to my family or friends, I saw crying as a weakness, as I needed to just push through it and be strong but I was incredibly weak and the cracks from each time I was touched were hidden behind a thick layer of skin, being bottled up inside. I had no voice. I felt trapped in my own body, in my own home. I had no where to turn, no one to go to… The person I should be running to for protection was the one who was hurting me. I cried to make it stop, I begged, I prayed to God for forgiveness. I felt dirty in my own body at the age of six. I didn’t know why this was happening to me, I didn’t know when it was going to stop. I went through years of abuse, years of questioning myself, questioning if I was being abused at all. I was groomed and pressured into sexual acts. I was raped and beat but most of all I was tired of fighting, fighting something that felt like it would never change, after crying for so long and nothing happened, I felt as though there was no end in sight.

The abuse went on for years, deep into my teens. For me, I had an angel that pulled me out from the rubble and saved me from the pain but my biggest struggle was and still is, reaching out to the people who question the truth. How can someone I love not believe me but rather choose their side against mine? That hopelessness is what hurts the most, so in hopes to reach the people who doubt my pain and to help others speak out even if they feel they will be judged or called a liar, this is why this blog exists.

I will continue to tell my story throughout this blog, I will update this with my raw emotions and words of encouragement. I will let you know that I am out of the abuse now and am happy but my wounds are still open, raw and exposed but this is the process of healing, speaking and moving forward. 

  1. survivornotavictim reblogged this from speakoutbeheard
  2. caffienatedsprinkles reblogged this from speakoutbeheard and added:
    Amen.
  3. r33nz reblogged this from speakoutbeheard
  4. speakoutbeheard posted this